Gimme a Head with Hair . . . .

Hooray!! My hair has been coming back - it's still pretty soft, like baby's hair, but it seems to be getting a little bit of texture. But even more importantly (and excitingly!) I have eyebrows again! And eyelashes! The eyebrow hairs are pretty soft & thing (again, like baby's hair), but I have discernible marks over my eyes. I'd post a picture, but meh. I still need makeup, of which I have none on at the moment.

Tomorrow I have my port out. If I remember, I'm going to ask them if I can keep it. I have no idea if they'll let me or not . . . . If they give it to me, it'll probably wind up in the trash shortly thereafter. I just want to see what it looks like when it's not under my skin. So one more time under the knife! Sigh. And then Tuesday is my fist appointment with the radiation oncologist. All sorts of fun! After that doctor's appointment, it's back to work for me. It's been so long! Sigh. I guess we all have to go back & earn a living at some point, though, eh?

Clear Margins!

I saw my surgeon on Tuesday who told me that hooray! The margins were clear! Such a relief. So I won't see her again until December. Today I went & saw my oncologist & everything went well there, too. Although before meeting with her I had a mammogram, which I do NOT recommend one week out of surgery. God. I didn't really think about it, my surgeon just said to her assistant "Get her a mammo before starting radiation." And I was just trying to get it scheduled at the same time as something else. But yeah . . . I should have scheduled it in about 2 weeks. Especially b/c the tech flattened, then raised the screen, repositioned me, flattened, raised, repositioned . . . so my boob got squished about 8 times more than it needed to. Ouch. So the radiologist who reviewed the films said that you could see the air pocket in there. Heh. I took a peek at the images on the computer & you could see a big old hole in the middle. Interesting stuff! My one (relatively minor) irritation is that they didn't take out the port. So I'm going in on Monday to get rid of it. I've just tolerated it these past few months, but I really don't like it & now that I don't need it, I really want it gone. I just can't stand it. Argh! It will be nice to be done with that, too.

My oncologist said that my achiness is something called 'post-chemo rheumatism'. So I feel better that it's not just from my trying to get in shape. It should go away . . . eventually. Hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime, I'll just grunt & groan when I'm getting up from a chair, & walk around like an 80-year-old. Siiiiiigh. Also, I am in a study for bisphosphonates to see if that lowers metastasis in bones. There's a 2/3 chance I'll be getting a pill, and 1/3 chance I'll be getting an IV. I'm hoping for the IV. The pills you have to take in the morning, and you can't eat or drink for 1/2 or 1 hour after you take them. And you have to sit up in bed after you take them, or you risk really bad heartburn. Argh! The IV you only get once a month for 6 months, then every 3 months for 2.5 years. I'd rather deal with it once every 1 or 3 months.

And in fundraising news - I've already hit my goal! And even before the fundraiser!! Which means the fundraiser money can go to bringing the rest of my team up to their minimum. Yay!! Thank you EVERYONE!!! I really appreciate it!

First Chemo

Yesterday was my first chemo. I had intended to write a second posting after my update, but it went pretty quickly. I got up there about 8:45am & we were out of there by 12:30pm. I was kind of surprised at that. Pleasantly, though. They try to make it as nice as possible, but you know, it's still a chemo unit. The port worked as advertised, except for the less pain part. Ow! Man, that hurt like ca-razy. It shouldn't hurt as much next time because a) I'll be more than a week & a half out from the port implant procedure & b) my doctor prescribed lidocaine. So I will put that on about 45 minutes before I got in for my next infusion & then I shouldn't feel it. Phew! Here's hoping.

I'm feeling ok. A little tired. I went to bed early last night, but then I got sucked into this book I've been reading, so it was about 10:15 when I finally shut out the light. Which is still a lot earlier than I normally go to sleep - especially on a weekend. But I feel mostly fine. Yesterday I felt like I was starting to get the flu a little - just sort of headachy & a little sore. I feel better now. Not much headache left. Still tired though. I fell asleep at halftime of the basketball game & woke up & they had switched to some other game. So I was pretty out for probably at least 1/2 hour. The dry mouth came on immediately though. Bleah! More water! I don't feel dehydrated - except for my mouth. I think I need to start chewing gum more. I must remember to tell Mom that for stocking stuffers for me. Yes, I still get a stocking. Shut up!

Ports & Egg Harvesting

This past week has gone really quickly. I had a port put in last Tuesday, which was an interesting procedure. Mostly because I wasn't under for it, unlike every other surgical procedure I've ever had done. I was totally out even for my wisdom teeth extraction! I was under sedation, but not so heavy it put me to sleep. I did try to fall asleep, but because I was being jostled around as the doctor was putting the port in, I wasn't quite able to get there. They also use a local around the surgical site, but you're still getting jostled. At one point I remember going "Ow". I vaguely remember someone saying "Give her more local." I was much more eloquent in my head than just "Ow." Like "Excuse me, doctor. I know you're busy, but perchance could I have a little more local anesthetic in the region you're operating on? I seem to be able to feel something more than I believe I should." Also: "Pardon me. I hate to be so fussy, I understand you're all very busy. I know I asked for a warming blanket upon my arrival in this chilly room, but I seem to have become overheated. Would it be too much trouble to ask for the blanket to be turned down? Thank you ever so much." came out as "Too hot." Ah well, I was never that . . . uh . . . good. With words. So it's in now & it's healing. My chest is all yellow on that side, so that's hot.

So now I have the port, so I hopefully won't get collapsed veins. Which I was worried about this past week because of all the blood I've had drawn for my various fertility treatments. I had blood drawn & vaginal ultrasounds on Friday 12/5, Tuesday 12/9, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday 12/11-12/13. Apparently I, uh, ripened, a little quicker than they thought because they had me take the trigger injection last night at 8PM. They were very specific about that time. And I have to report to Rockville at 6AM on Monday!!! Man, that's going to be tough. And the procedure isn't even for a couple of hours after I check in. So this should be interesting. I guess they use the same type ultrasound I've been using the past week & a half, but it's got a needle attached. They go through the vaginal wall to retrieve the eggs. Things seem to be going well & I think I should have something like 8 or 10 eggs. But I'm not sure. Will report back later.

Last week, I also went to a 'Look Good...Feel Better' session. Look Good...Feel Better is a free service to women to help them (us) with the physical changes that accompany cancer treatments. It was nice. There were 3 of us - all for breast cancer. One of the other 2 had had chemo about a week earlier, but her hair hadn't started falling out yet. And what hair! Long and thick! Like mine. Beautiful! So we got some makeup tips, and some information on what we can expect from our skin. Apparently chemo is drying, so we got lots of lotions & moisturizers. And we learned the importance of cleaning your face twice a day, which . . . I should be better about anyway. We each came away with a little goody bag of cleansers, moisturizers, and makeup which were graciously donated by a bunch of companies. My bag had stuff from Avon, Revlon, Mary Kay, Aveda, Bobbi Brown, St. Ives, and several others (uh, I'm at the library, so I don't have it with me). Oh, I got 3 sample sizes (like ketchup packet-sized) of Udder Cream! I'm looking forward to smearing that on my . . . skin. Hm. Looking at their website, one of their products contains 10% urea. Which is . . . yeah, you know. Anyways, it was a fun & informative session. Everyone (er, everyone with cancer) should go to one - they have a version for men and for teens, too. After leaving the session, I had to walk through the lobby of the Cancer Center, where they were having a Christmas party for kids. Some were children of people who are patients at the cancer center, others are patients themselves. It was really sweet, but really sad at the same time. I mean, no kid should have to deal with this. I had to leave quickly, before I became the sobbing woman at the childrens' party.

I also went to an intro to chemo session at the hospital. They went through the logistics of chemo. You come up to here, check in, then they'll bring you back here. You can have guests, they have wifi (hello, live- blogging!), they have tvs at each chair. They provide lunch, if you're around then, but you can also byo. So, hey, it'll be like a little party in there. Except for the all the sick people. Man, we are always bringing things down!

Schedule for this week: Egg retrieval Monday 12/15, CT scan & MUGA Wednesday 12/17, and first chemo Friday 12/19. So I imagine my hair will start falling out after the new year. Siiiiiiigh. In that vein, look for an upcoming post about my wig shopping.

Holy Cow

Man, I'm going to have a busy couple of weeks coming up. I met with my oncologist (Dr. Liu) today & she has given me a to-do list & yowzer! I have to go in & get some blood work done (missed the clinic hours by thismuch). I also have to make an appointment to get a CT scan (to see if there are any other spots we need to worry about (fingers crossed)), and a heart scan (to get a baseline for my heart function because one of my chemo meds apparently (in very rare cases) can be toxic to your heart. Which means possibly in 5-10 years I could be having congestive heart failure. Siiigh.), and then sometime next week I'll have my port put in so I can preserve my right arm veins. I don't want to wind up like Keith Richards or Amy Winehouse & have all collapsed veins in my arms (well, arm - since I can't have blood or any needles put in my left arm anymore, there's not much chance of that, I guess). Ugh! I think they have to take blood through your toes or something then. Or is that where the addicts inject themselves when they've run out of arm veins? Anyways. So the port will go in & then I can start with chemo, which is scheduled for the 19th. This is all dependent, of course, if you've been following my menstrual saga, on me actually getting my period in the next couple of days. Argh! So here's hoping. Stupid Aunt Flo! When will you get here?! And in case anyone has that in the back of their mind - no, I'm not pregnant. My middle name is Mary, not my first. And I've got my scrip for my "cranial prosthesis". Dr. Liu says that insurance companies won't fill the prescription if the scrip says "wig". So there's your little trivia factoid for the day. And with that, I'm off! Tons to do. Panic, panic, panic - hope I don't forget anything. Oooh, tomorrow's the big (hair) day! Wish me luck - I hope I like what he does to me. I'll have my camera along to record for posterity.